In Praise of Praise

Mail Tribune:

“Sandwich every bit of criticism between two thick layers of praise.”

That bit of advice might explain why Mary Kay Ash, founder of the phenomenally successful cosmetics company has done so well.

Praise can change everything. I’m not talking about compliments. This is not about “you have a beautiful smile” or “that was a great meal.” Those are fine statements and we need to use more of them. Research at Marquette University demonstrated that compliments are so important that even when the speaker is insincere, they are still effective. But praise is different.

As a dog-eared article from a Good Housekeeping magazine I have kept in my “future columns drawer” for months says, praise “triggers the pleasure centers of the brain, producing an effect similar to anti-depressants.” It’s “an espresso shot of confidence and good feelings.” And, wondrously, it makes the person providing the positive comment feel good too.

Praise glorifies. Praise begets joy. Well-delivered praise indicates we’re paying complete attention to a situation and the people involved.